There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered. – Nelson Mandela
Let’s just say I returned to a place that remain unchanged recently. It took me all of 5 minutes to realize that I was no longer a good fit.
I used to give my Dad a really tough time as a kid. I lied to him, stole from him, and just showed him massive disrespect as a child. See, he wasn’t my biological father and I felt that I didn’t need to show him the same love and respect that I showed my mother. I was young and stupid and didn’t realize how lucky I was to have a man in my life who gave a damn about me. All my adolescent brain could understand was “you ain’t my father.”
But he was, and is, and always will be. I don’t know how old I was when I realized that.
I remember him taking my Biggie, “Ready To Die” tape from me because the language was too coarse. I was upset then, but I understand now. He was just trying to guide me and give me another example of Black manhood. I ended up dubbing that tape again, but the precedent was set. Dad wouldn’t put up with any foolishness in HIS house.
I think I was in my late teens or early twenties when he and I started to have a relationship I was proud of, but by then his work was done. He showed me what it was to be a man and now it was time for me to stand on my own two feet. I attribute so much of my success and well being to the lessons he taught me. I even share some of those lessons with my students and other young men I come in contact with.
He taught me what it was to try to be the best man you can be in an imperfect world and I love him for that. I wish more fathers were like mine. The world wouldn’t be perfect but it would be better than it is.
Happy Father’s Day 2009.
For those that don’t know, I’m a student in the Master’s program at Georgia State University. Since GSU is the only liberal arts/research university in the city I often find myself taking courses with higher ups from all of the local school districts. Last week, during our first class, one of the higher ups shared that his district had conducted a focus group and the data collected from the focus group showed that students, parents, and teachers were overwhelmingly supportive of a proposed ban on the use of “electronic communication devices” in schools. Now, as a research student I was tempted to question the district’s sampling methods (which the higher up did not share with the class) to challenge the validity of those results, but the bigger issue is the knee jerk reaction to the proliferation of cell phones in schools.
In this day and age of school systems bemoaning the benefits of integrating more technology into the classroom I find it completely counter intuitive to ban a technology that is becoming increasingly accessible to people of all income levels. Several of my students who DO NOT have computers in the home have cell phones that can access the internet in their pockets…during class! Why not engage them on that level and with the tools that more people can afford to have access to ?
Just this weekend, twitter users were up in arms over CNN’s shoddy coverage of the Iranian election. The twitter community responded by using the hash tag #IranElection to bring attention to the OBVIOUSLY fraudulent election results. Twitter helped to document history in real time…not at the speed of a huge news network beholden to too many stakeholders. If teachers allowed and encouraged the use of cell phones in a responsible manner we may see the level of student interaction increase…rather than the current trend of higher levels of student disengagement from schools. Just think of the conversations that will be missed if we deny students/teachers access to the real world with policies like the one proposed.
I’m not a proponent of using tech in the classroom just to say we’re using the newest latest thing. However, banning access to something before fully understanding the benefits of its use is draconian governance and irresponsible leadership.
We need this economy to turn around quick so some of the less creative educators can make room for innovative educators who aren’t afraid to take risks in the classroom and change bad policy instead of creating more of it.
My Mother’s Uncle, Rory Billy Moorer, died earlier this week. I, like the rest of my family members, am saddened by his untimely passing. However, I am having some trouble decided whether or not I WANT to attend his funeral services.
I have been described/characterized as a closed off and private person ( ironic since I tend to blog about incredibly personal issues ).That being the case, I tend to grieve, mourn, and deal with painful situations on my own. I do not take comfort in public displays of my grief or pain.
However, I’m trying to decide whether or not I’m right in choosing, or rather, considering not to go. Is it wrong to do things in my own way if it goes against the wishes of my family ? Am I selfish in choosing to grieve privately ? Is it my duty to bear witness to my Grand-Uncle’s passing ? Do things like attendance at funerals, wakes, and other institutions of celebration and mourning matter in the grand scheme of things or do they simply matter to my family ? I don’t know.
My decisions are usually dictated by logic. I know what will happen if my computer overheats. I understand why I need to eat or exercise. I thrive on cause and effect but I’m at a loss right now because death isn’t logical. Sure, in the biological sense of things it can be explained. The lungs give out. The kidneys stop functioning. The heart is too weak to beat. The brain ceases to function. A person is thus, no longer alive. But what death does to the living is not logical. Is that what I’m afraid of facing ? Is that why I don’t want to be there ?
(This is from 1997…I’m in there somewhere!)
I used to play trumpet in my high school marching band. It didn’t particularly love the music, it was just something to do if you went to a Black high school in the south. You either played sports, marched in the band, or were a spectator…and I had no interest in playing sports or being a spectator.
Marching band was amazing because you got to be a part of something larger than yourself. It gave me the opportunity to add my voice to a chorus of other voices in relative anonymity. Sure, I had to earn my spot in band class and at practice but once I was on that field I was part of a corp. Everyone wore the same uniform. Everyone played their parts. I stood out because I blended in so well.
I was a decent player. Good enough to get second chair at my high school, but not great by any means. It was because I was decent that I kept playing the trumpet after football/marching band season. I joined the jazz band ( a much smaller and more exclusive fraternity of musicians) and the concert band. I also took private lessons. Concert band was very similar to marching band in that it was relatively large and homogeneity was encouraged. Not so with the jazz band. In the jazz band rugged individualism was valued over conformity to group norms. The improvising soloist was the star…not the band.
I played in a three person ensemble in a concert once and I was terrified. I no longer had the band to hide my sound. I had to play on my own and I was terrified. I had never felt so naked and exposed before in my life and my performance suffered for it. I missed notes and unnatural sounds came from the bell of my horn. But I finished the performance, bowed before the crowd, and left. My failure very nearly made me quit playing that day.
I returned to school and to the jazz band feeling broken. I had embarrassed myself and realized that my ambitions far exceeded my talents. I didn’t quit though. I continued playing in the jazz, concert, and marching bands for a number of years after that embarrassing concert. I never made first chair or got that solo…but I made myself a place among musicians with far more natural talent than I ever had.
That failure taught me that even if my natural talents weren’t as great as those around me, my work ethic and drive can create a place for me…if I want it.
I try to teach my students who struggle with mathematics the same lessons every time they face failure. I try to teach them that the road to success is paved with failures and that we only truly fail when if we give up.
I couldn’t help my self.
I’m always interested in ways to incorporate technology in the classroom. I like the initial idea that this teacher has taken to bring twitter into the classroom however I am concerned that students’ ability to communicate verbally may suffer. Social skills, confidence, and an ability/willingness for students to simply say what they feel is lacking in K12 and University classes NOW! Ask any teacher on any level and I think they’ll tell you that students are terrified to have an original thought in class these days. They would rather parrot the ideas of someone else or say nothing at all.
I feel like adding twitter to the mix may increase classroom participation because it reduces the anxiety of public speaking but it may also hinder their ability to communicate their ideas to people when twitter is not the medium of communication. Again, I appreciate the directions, but I am cautious about the unintended side effects of this latest treatment for the participation dilemma.
Your thoughts ?
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