I used to give my Dad a really tough time as a kid. I lied to him, stole from him, and just showed him massive disrespect as a child. See, he wasn’t my biological father and I felt that I didn’t need to show him the same love and respect that I showed my mother. I was young and stupid and didn’t realize how lucky I was to have a man in my life who gave a damn about me. All my adolescent brain could understand was “you ain’t my father.”

But he was, and is, and always will be. I don’t know how old I was when I realized that.

I remember him taking my Biggie, “Ready To Die” tape from me because the language was too coarse. I was upset then, but I understand now. He was just trying to guide me and give me another example of Black manhood. I ended up dubbing that tape again, but the precedent was set. Dad wouldn’t put up with any foolishness in HIS house.

I think I was in my late teens or early twenties when he and I started to have a relationship I was proud of, but by then his work was done. He showed me what it was to be a man and now it was time for me to stand on my own two feet. I attribute so much of my success and well being to the lessons he taught me. I even share some of those lessons with my students and other young men I come in contact with.

He taught me what it was to try to be the best man you can be in an imperfect world and I love him for that. I wish more fathers were like mine. The world wouldn’t be perfect but it would be better than it is.

Happy Father’s Day 2009.